I’m looking to hire a Junior Marketing Specialist. Basic Requirements: - 15 years HubSpot - 15 years Salesforce - 15 years Marketo - 20 years AdWords - 30 years Constant Contact - Collaborative player with extreme EQ - Knows HTML, CSS, JavaScript, and all future variations of XML - Contributor on at least five Dreamforce projects - Should have at least one PhD Preferred Qualifications: - Traveled to study marketing on at least three different continents - Experience leading teams of 5,800 people or more - Writing scripts for Disney Movies - Strong experience with Agile/Scrum, Fibonacci Sequence, and Pareto Principles - Published at least three top level academic papers preferably focused on the intersection of Game Theory, Buyer Behavior, and Marketing Psychology Interview Process: - Five-day process of whiteboarding templates from scratch followed by writing your own novel - Strategy exam will be taken at random in three different languages Transparent Compensation: - Annual salary of $35,000 - $45,000, which equates to $0.0047 - $0.0060 per second - Quarterly bonus opportunity of $250 - $259, based on secret handshakes Additional Perks: - Fun activities involving ping pong, foosball, and more ping pong - Giant bean bag chairs - Unlimited snacks and cold beverages